Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Monday, August 25, 2014
When Life Closes In
As it stands right now, my Proverbs 31 Woman book is (finally) ready to go once it has cover art. It's been a long time coming and I'm really excited to get it done and published! My next project will be editing and preparing my James Bible study for a similar treatment. My third children's book is with the illustrator now, and we hope to have it completed by Christmas. It sometimes feels like everything happens at once, which is pretty overwhelming. But, once they are all published, I'll have to seriously buckle down and get some more writing done.
Do you ever feel like everything that needs your attention happens all at the same time or not at all? Nothing is ever spaced out easily, at least not in my world. I often feel like I'm running around erratically, never accomplishing anything, even though things are getting done. But, when the list is so long and the time is so short, it's easy to let the panic and stress take over.
So, what do we do when life just closes in around us? Most of us respond in one of a few ways: some run through their list until they break down, some try to do pieces of each thing that needs doing without forgetting anything important, some thrive on the hectic lifestyle and dive right in, and others play the "ignore it and maybe it will go away" game. I can't say that any of these are a particularly healthy approach, but let's face it, most of us can identify with at least one of these strategies. I, personally, try to complete pieces of each task and pray I don't forget the important stuff. I don't recommend this strategy, though, because I inevitably forget something.
I'm trying to get better at handling the messes of managing a family, writing and editing books, leading and preparing Bible studies, teaching Sunday School, and whatever else jumps on my plate by handling one thing at a time. I have a list, and I try to work my way down the list. Sometimes things jump to the top of the list by necessity, but I'm trying to roll with the punches. I'm not going to claim to be an expert, but I sure do get a lot more done when I stop panicking and start productively working!
As we all get back into the groove of school with the kids, I want to challenge you to think about your coping mechanisms. If you're like me and find yourself stuck with a destructive habit, try to change it. Make your list, utilize your calendar, send yourself text reminders; do whatever you need to do in order to reclaim a little bit of sanity!
Monday, May 12, 2014
A Special Message for Moms
Yesterday was Mother's Day, a day set aside to honor moms for all that they do. My family of five had a wonderful day together, beginning with a delicious, healthy breakfast prepared for me by my oldest, followed by church and some great quality time and dinner out. I can't tell you how many times the girls told me, "Happy Mother's Day" throughout the day. It was a beautiful, memorable day. I say all of this to tell you that not every Mother's Day has been this way. I remember when the girls were all younger that Mother's Day felt like Monster's Day - they seemed to turn into crazy little monsters who wanted to drive me insane more than anything else. They were not fun days, and I often looked forward to Monday just so their behavior would return to normal.
Looking back on these days after a success like this year, I have to wonder what made those times different. I think it has to do with maturity. As toddlers, especially, children don't think past themselves and their immediate comfort. They're not interested in a day set aside for Mommy, especially if she gets presents and they don't. They don't want to go somewhere other than McDonald's or Taco Bell to eat; after all, they're most important, right? When they started preschool some of the attitudes started to change, probably because the preschool made a big deal of Mother's Day with a tea and gifts each year. The girls finally started to realize that it was a day to make Mommy feel special, not a day to torment her and make her regret becoming a mom!
I think we're often this way with God. How often do we remember to thank him for all he's done in our lives? We make sure to blame him when things aren't going well, but we forget to give him credit when things go right. We have a day set aside for God every week, but do we take advantage of it to thank him for what we have and worship him at church? Too many of us choose not to; Sunday has become a yard work or sports day with God rarely even making our list.
If we feel neglected when our children behave badly on Mother's Day, or even worse, forget us on Mother's Day, how do you think God feels when we forget him? He loves us as children, which all of us moms can understand. Why do we think we can hurt him any less than our children can hurt us? As we raise our children to respect us as their parents and treat us special on our days, we should raise them to treat God the same way, especially on his special day each week.
Looking back on these days after a success like this year, I have to wonder what made those times different. I think it has to do with maturity. As toddlers, especially, children don't think past themselves and their immediate comfort. They're not interested in a day set aside for Mommy, especially if she gets presents and they don't. They don't want to go somewhere other than McDonald's or Taco Bell to eat; after all, they're most important, right? When they started preschool some of the attitudes started to change, probably because the preschool made a big deal of Mother's Day with a tea and gifts each year. The girls finally started to realize that it was a day to make Mommy feel special, not a day to torment her and make her regret becoming a mom!
I think we're often this way with God. How often do we remember to thank him for all he's done in our lives? We make sure to blame him when things aren't going well, but we forget to give him credit when things go right. We have a day set aside for God every week, but do we take advantage of it to thank him for what we have and worship him at church? Too many of us choose not to; Sunday has become a yard work or sports day with God rarely even making our list.
If we feel neglected when our children behave badly on Mother's Day, or even worse, forget us on Mother's Day, how do you think God feels when we forget him? He loves us as children, which all of us moms can understand. Why do we think we can hurt him any less than our children can hurt us? As we raise our children to respect us as their parents and treat us special on our days, we should raise them to treat God the same way, especially on his special day each week.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Re-engage the brain (for a little bit longer!)
Has anyone noticed that their kids' brains have turned off since coming off Spring Break? Isn't it supposed to be a time to recharge the batteries before wading back into the school routine? The answer is yes, but Spring Break has the opposite effect in my home.
The girls and I spent a fantastic 12 days in New Mexico with my parents over our break, which was so nice. We relaxed, the girls played, and we did tons of fun stuff. But now we're home slogging through the same-old routine and brains are disengaging.
While the idea of a recharge is nice, I almost wish we could just skip it and get out of school a week earlier. The girls wouldn't get used to sleeping in and playing all the time, and I wouldn't have to be the warden every single morning, reminding them to brush teeth and comb hair (because we never do those things).
My zeal for school work has also diminished and I have to force myself to care about what's coming home. Heaven help us if someone brings home a project! This is the time of year when Mom helps the kids find the shortest book in the library to write a book report on or homework is completed in the backseat on the way to ________ (fill in the blank).
My kids are involved in one sport (all together!) that runs year round, so our sports routine is constant. But many kids pick up baseball, soccer, or lacrosse this time of year, and schedules get even crazier! I've known many moms who pack dinner into the car and eat on the way to one practice or another.
So how do we re-engage our brains and get through the rest of the year, ladies? Here's what helps me - when I remember to do it!
1. Write it down - If you have something coming up write it down on the calendar. I keep a desk calendar hanging over my desk so I can see what's going on each week. This requires actually keeping up with it and adding things as you find out about them. This time of year it's hard to remember to get everything on there, but boy do I pay when I forget!
2. Say "no" if you need to - You can't do everything; sometimes you need to say no and let someone else pick up the baton and run. It's hard, I know, but you know when you're getting to your breaking point. The last thing you need in the middle of all the crazy end-of- school-year hustle is a breakdown!
3. Pray! - It may seem oversimplified, but prayer can be the difference between a harried, crazy mom and a calm, centered mom. Yes, our schedules are busy right now, but the Lord knows what each one of us needs to get through all the craziness, and he's able to bless us and our families through it. When things start to feel overwhelming I make myself spend some time in prayer, then I start prioritizing my list. It's amazing how much clearer everything looks after I've taken that time to connect with the Creator.
The girls and I spent a fantastic 12 days in New Mexico with my parents over our break, which was so nice. We relaxed, the girls played, and we did tons of fun stuff. But now we're home slogging through the same-old routine and brains are disengaging.
While the idea of a recharge is nice, I almost wish we could just skip it and get out of school a week earlier. The girls wouldn't get used to sleeping in and playing all the time, and I wouldn't have to be the warden every single morning, reminding them to brush teeth and comb hair (because we never do those things).
My zeal for school work has also diminished and I have to force myself to care about what's coming home. Heaven help us if someone brings home a project! This is the time of year when Mom helps the kids find the shortest book in the library to write a book report on or homework is completed in the backseat on the way to ________ (fill in the blank).
My kids are involved in one sport (all together!) that runs year round, so our sports routine is constant. But many kids pick up baseball, soccer, or lacrosse this time of year, and schedules get even crazier! I've known many moms who pack dinner into the car and eat on the way to one practice or another.
So how do we re-engage our brains and get through the rest of the year, ladies? Here's what helps me - when I remember to do it!
1. Write it down - If you have something coming up write it down on the calendar. I keep a desk calendar hanging over my desk so I can see what's going on each week. This requires actually keeping up with it and adding things as you find out about them. This time of year it's hard to remember to get everything on there, but boy do I pay when I forget!
2. Say "no" if you need to - You can't do everything; sometimes you need to say no and let someone else pick up the baton and run. It's hard, I know, but you know when you're getting to your breaking point. The last thing you need in the middle of all the crazy end-of- school-year hustle is a breakdown!
3. Pray! - It may seem oversimplified, but prayer can be the difference between a harried, crazy mom and a calm, centered mom. Yes, our schedules are busy right now, but the Lord knows what each one of us needs to get through all the craziness, and he's able to bless us and our families through it. When things start to feel overwhelming I make myself spend some time in prayer, then I start prioritizing my list. It's amazing how much clearer everything looks after I've taken that time to connect with the Creator.
Monday, January 6, 2014
New Year, New Goals
It's New Years resolution time! Have you written yours down? I found a really interesting chart on http://statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/.
Take a look:
Aren't these interesting? What's also telling to me, though, is how long these resolutions last. Most people are done keeping their resolution within a week. Why is that? Why can't we make a goal and stick with it? Weight loss, especially, seems to be something we moms give up on pretty quickly. We're quick to give ourselves an out: the kids have to nap, they're too disruptive, I'm too tired, or any other excuse we can use.
I haven't set myself any resolutions this year, but I do have specific goals I'm working on in my life. I think it's important that we all set goals for ourselves, and then we actively pursue them. For instance, if you'd like to lose weight, and you make it your New Years resolution, pursue it! Don't just purchase a gym membership - find a gym buddy, use a trainer, find classes you enjoy. If you're working out at home, make it work for you. I stick with my regimen much better when I'm with other people, so I take an aerobics class twice a week, and I kickbox twice a week. It keeps me accountable, and I'm able to share my exercise enjoyment with friends.
One thing I think we Christians always resolve to do is read our Bibles more each year. This is one deal I make with myself every year, and I usually have pretty poor follow-through. This year, I'm doing a reading plan with Charles and other members at church who have taken the challenge. I'm hopeful that we'll be able to hold each other accountable for our spiritual exercise plan!
So, moms, I hope that if you've set resolutions for yourself, that you'll set out with a mind-set to succeed. Include a friend or your spouse in your resolutions so they can help you stay on track.
Whatever your goals are, remember the S.M.A.R.T. analogy:
S - Specific. Commit to exactly what you want to achieve. Know what you're working for.
M - Measureable. Don't set a goal to lose weight - set a number. "I want to lose 10 pounds." You'll be able to measure your success this way.
A - Attainable. Make sure your goal is reasonable. Don't set yourself up for failure. Losing 10 pounds in a few days isn't attainable, but losing 10 pounds in 1-2 months certainly is.
R - Relevant. Your goal needs to mean something to you. Don't jump on the weight loss bandwagon if you're not really interested in losing weight and getting healthy.
T - Time-bound. Give yourself a time-frame to work with. "I want to lose 10 pounds in 2 months" gives you something specific to work towards in a set time period. With an ending in sight, it's easier to stick with something.
Take a look:
| Statistic Verification |
| Source: University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology |
| Research Date: 1.1.2014 |
| Rank | Top 10 New Years resolutions for 2014 |
1
| Lose Weight |
2
| Getting Organized |
3
| Spend Less, Save More |
4
| Enjoy Life to the Fullest |
5
| Staying Fit and Healthy |
6
| Learn Something Exciting |
7
| Quit Smoking |
8
| Help Others in Their Dreams |
9
| Fall in Love |
10
| Spend More Time with Family |
| News Years Resolution Statistics | Data |
| Percent of Americans who usually make New Year’s Resolutions | 45% |
| Percent of Americans who infrequently make New Year’s Resolutions | 17% |
| Percent of Americans who absolutlely never make New Year’s Resolutions | 38% |
| Percent of people who are successful in achieving their resolution | 8% |
| Percent who have infrequent success | 49% |
| Percent who never succeed and fail on their resolution each year | 24% |
| People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions | |
| Type of Resolutions (Percent above 100% because of multiple resolutions) | Data |
| Self Improvement or education related resolutions | 47% |
| Weight related resolutions | 38% |
| Money related resolutions | 34% |
| Relationship related resolutions | 31% |
| Age Success Rates | Data |
| Percent of people in their twenties who achieve their resolution each year | 39% |
| Percent of people over 50 who achieve their resolution each year | 14% |
| Length of Resolutions | Data |
| Resolution maintained through first week | 75% |
| Past two weeks | 71% |
| Past one month | 64% |
| Past six months | 46% |
Aren't these interesting? What's also telling to me, though, is how long these resolutions last. Most people are done keeping their resolution within a week. Why is that? Why can't we make a goal and stick with it? Weight loss, especially, seems to be something we moms give up on pretty quickly. We're quick to give ourselves an out: the kids have to nap, they're too disruptive, I'm too tired, or any other excuse we can use.
I haven't set myself any resolutions this year, but I do have specific goals I'm working on in my life. I think it's important that we all set goals for ourselves, and then we actively pursue them. For instance, if you'd like to lose weight, and you make it your New Years resolution, pursue it! Don't just purchase a gym membership - find a gym buddy, use a trainer, find classes you enjoy. If you're working out at home, make it work for you. I stick with my regimen much better when I'm with other people, so I take an aerobics class twice a week, and I kickbox twice a week. It keeps me accountable, and I'm able to share my exercise enjoyment with friends.
One thing I think we Christians always resolve to do is read our Bibles more each year. This is one deal I make with myself every year, and I usually have pretty poor follow-through. This year, I'm doing a reading plan with Charles and other members at church who have taken the challenge. I'm hopeful that we'll be able to hold each other accountable for our spiritual exercise plan!
So, moms, I hope that if you've set resolutions for yourself, that you'll set out with a mind-set to succeed. Include a friend or your spouse in your resolutions so they can help you stay on track.
Whatever your goals are, remember the S.M.A.R.T. analogy:
S - Specific. Commit to exactly what you want to achieve. Know what you're working for.
M - Measureable. Don't set a goal to lose weight - set a number. "I want to lose 10 pounds." You'll be able to measure your success this way.
A - Attainable. Make sure your goal is reasonable. Don't set yourself up for failure. Losing 10 pounds in a few days isn't attainable, but losing 10 pounds in 1-2 months certainly is.
R - Relevant. Your goal needs to mean something to you. Don't jump on the weight loss bandwagon if you're not really interested in losing weight and getting healthy.
T - Time-bound. Give yourself a time-frame to work with. "I want to lose 10 pounds in 2 months" gives you something specific to work towards in a set time period. With an ending in sight, it's easier to stick with something.
Monday, September 9, 2013
The Little Things
This caught my attention today. It mirrors what I've been trying to do with my girls recently. I read something that said if you want your kids to come to you with the big things when they're older, you have to listen to the little things when they're small. This really hit me - mostly because I find myself tuning out so many of the little things three girls are constantly throwing my way. But, if I don't want to find myself on the outside looking in when they're bigger, I've got to get my act together and start listening.
I've been putting the poem above into practice in my life. When the girls come home from school, even though it's peak writing time, I stop what I'm doing so I can hear about their day and everything that happened. Do my ears ring and my brain slightly implode? Yes, but it's worth it. In the midst of all the chatter, I'm learning about my girls and what's important to them.
Emily will tell me what happened in different classes, Abby will have a report on recess, and Morgan will have a behavior report on her classmates. It's amazing how much their personalities and individual struggles come through in what they say! Abby won't have anything to say about classwork because she doesn't care about it, but she'll have a play-by-play of her interaction with friends on the playground, because that matters to her. Emily will share a wide variety of things, mostly class related unless something happened with one of her friends and she needs venting time or advice. Morgan will let me know who misbehaved in class, and what steps she took to remedy the problem.
Look what I would miss out on by tuning them out every day! By turning off my lips and opening my ears, I get to come inside their world for a little bit and see what it's like. Is it easy? No, I will honestly tell you that it's really hard, but it's so important! I'm building a foundation today that will (hopefully) sustain our relationship through the teen years when I really need to know what's going on with them. It also clues me in to trouble areas early. If there's going to be drama with a friend, sometimes it can be headed off before it's a problem. If someone's struggling with a subject in school, I can take measures here at home to help. Sometimes my girls just need to know that I am present and I understand what they're going through right now. They don't need a solution or remedy - they just need Mommy, a listening ear, and a giant hug.
I encourage you to spend some time with each of your kids and their "little things." You may need to go to a quiet place and lose your mind a little bit afterwards, but I promise you that you won't regret it!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Back to School
Today was the official first day of school and I'm bittersweet about it. I'm not ashamed to say that I look forward to summer vacation each year. I like having my girls home, sleeping in every morning, and keeping a relaxed schedule. However, I am ready to get into a regular pattern, especially with my writing. I find it hard to set aside the time I need to devote to my craft when there are three energetic girls running around the house. They regard my "working" time the same way they do a phone call - they always have something really important to tell me even though I'm off limits. It tends to make me just a little irritable and short!
Do you have the same issue? Were you both happy and sad when you waved your kids off on the bus? It's one of the many interesting situations we face as moms. We're happy to be with our children every minute of every day until we REALLY need a break! My mother-in-law has mentioned home-schooling to me several times lately and I just have to laugh. As much as I love my girls I do not think I'm up to the challenge of home-schooling. Over the summer we did some math review and that was plenty for me to realize that I'm just not cut out to be their teacher!
These hours that they are in school are my time to work - I'm either doing housework, writing, leading my Bible study, or running various and sundry errands. I don't find that I get more rest when they're not here; I can just direct my attentions to other things I need to do. When the girls are home things get compressed. I can maybe sneak in a couple of hours working on my book or articles, but I feel the need to compensate them with something fun to make up for it. That usually adds a trip somewhere to our day and takes away from productive tasks I would have done.
I guess my point today is don't let anyone make you feel guilty that you were just the slightest bit relieved when the bus pulled away this morning. You're not alone in it! We all love our children and want the best for them, and sometimes we need some time apart so we can really enjoy them when we get them back! I know that I am determined not to let someone else dictate to me what my schedule should look like, and neither should you. Enjoy your back to school day!
Do you have the same issue? Were you both happy and sad when you waved your kids off on the bus? It's one of the many interesting situations we face as moms. We're happy to be with our children every minute of every day until we REALLY need a break! My mother-in-law has mentioned home-schooling to me several times lately and I just have to laugh. As much as I love my girls I do not think I'm up to the challenge of home-schooling. Over the summer we did some math review and that was plenty for me to realize that I'm just not cut out to be their teacher!
These hours that they are in school are my time to work - I'm either doing housework, writing, leading my Bible study, or running various and sundry errands. I don't find that I get more rest when they're not here; I can just direct my attentions to other things I need to do. When the girls are home things get compressed. I can maybe sneak in a couple of hours working on my book or articles, but I feel the need to compensate them with something fun to make up for it. That usually adds a trip somewhere to our day and takes away from productive tasks I would have done.
I guess my point today is don't let anyone make you feel guilty that you were just the slightest bit relieved when the bus pulled away this morning. You're not alone in it! We all love our children and want the best for them, and sometimes we need some time apart so we can really enjoy them when we get them back! I know that I am determined not to let someone else dictate to me what my schedule should look like, and neither should you. Enjoy your back to school day!
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