Today Charles and I celebrate 13 years of marriage. Wow! According to several online sites, the average marriage that ends in divorce in the US lasts 8 years. That's pretty sobering, isn't it? When Charles and I celebrated our 8 year anniversary we had three young children, had recently moved into our home, and were experiencing some rough financial times. We were on a very strict budget, and I don't think we went anywhere to celebrate. Each year since has brought something different - sometimes better, sometimes worse. Last year I was just 9 days out of back surgery, so we postponed any celebration until I was mobile. But whether we do it up big or just spend some special time together, I am a big believer in acknowledging the importance of every anniversary.
Marriage is not a popular topic in our society. Don't get me wrong - we LOVE weddings and romance, and we love to be in love, but marriage is not nearly as cool. Marriage requires sacrifice and unselfishness; it's taking a spouse to the hospital when they're sick, holding them when they cry, and letting them vent when they really need it. It's bills and paychecks and more bills. It's raising children and pets and learning to make time for yourselves as a couple when you're pulled in about 500 different directions every week. That's marriage - is it any wonder so many people give up when it gets hard?
What's the benefit to working your way through all the hard stuff? You end up with a lifelong companion, a person who is so close to you they see you down to your soul. Yes, that means the ugly parts too, but they don't care! I can be myself with Charles, warts and all, and I can trust him to hold me accountable when those warts start showing through! Conversely, I can also hold him accountable when his less desirable traits make a showing.
I can honestly say that marriage is not what I expected it to be 13 years later, but it's better than what I ever envisioned for myself. Our marriage isn't perfect, and it wouldn't work for anyone else, but it works for us. Why? I think because we made a decision long ago to put God in charge of our relationship. Our home is built on a firm foundation of Jesus Christ and He influences every decision we make. Times we don't see eye to eye there's often a disconnect somewhere between us and God. We aren't perfect, and our marriage isn't perfect, but it's blessed by God and He holds us in the palm of His hand. That's comforting to me, and makes me firmly believe that I will be writing on my marriage in another 13 years, and 13 years after that!
No comments:
Post a Comment