Yesterday was Mother's Day, a day set aside to honor moms for all that they do. My family of five had a wonderful day together, beginning with a delicious, healthy breakfast prepared for me by my oldest, followed by church and some great quality time and dinner out. I can't tell you how many times the girls told me, "Happy Mother's Day" throughout the day. It was a beautiful, memorable day. I say all of this to tell you that not every Mother's Day has been this way. I remember when the girls were all younger that Mother's Day felt like Monster's Day - they seemed to turn into crazy little monsters who wanted to drive me insane more than anything else. They were not fun days, and I often looked forward to Monday just so their behavior would return to normal.
Looking back on these days after a success like this year, I have to wonder what made those times different. I think it has to do with maturity. As toddlers, especially, children don't think past themselves and their immediate comfort. They're not interested in a day set aside for Mommy, especially if she gets presents and they don't. They don't want to go somewhere other than McDonald's or Taco Bell to eat; after all, they're most important, right? When they started preschool some of the attitudes started to change, probably because the preschool made a big deal of Mother's Day with a tea and gifts each year. The girls finally started to realize that it was a day to make Mommy feel special, not a day to torment her and make her regret becoming a mom!
I think we're often this way with God. How often do we remember to thank him for all he's done in our lives? We make sure to blame him when things aren't going well, but we forget to give him credit when things go right. We have a day set aside for God every week, but do we take advantage of it to thank him for what we have and worship him at church? Too many of us choose not to; Sunday has become a yard work or sports day with God rarely even making our list.
If we feel neglected when our children behave badly on Mother's Day, or even worse, forget us on Mother's Day, how do you think God feels when we forget him? He loves us as children, which all of us moms can understand. Why do we think we can hurt him any less than our children can hurt us? As we raise our children to respect us as their parents and treat us special on our days, we should raise them to treat God the same way, especially on his special day each week.
This weekend my husband and I are going away for our anniversary. We just hit 14 years, which is very exciting, and quite the accomplishment in today's world. To my knowledge, we've never gone away to celebrate our anniversary before, so this trip is a bit of a milestone. We're both looking forward to having time to focus on each other, without distractions or responsibilities. With three active children, our relationship can sometimes take a back-burner to our busy lives, and we need a re-charge!
How often do you and your husband remember to celebrate your couple-ness? Over the years our date nights have been few and far between for the most part. When the girls were really young, we couldn't afford a babysitter, so nights out didn't happen much. As they got a bit older, and money became a little less of an issue, we still struggled to make dating a priority. It wasn't until my girlfriend and I devised a monthly babysitting swap that we actually started enjoying time set aside just for us every month.
I can't stress enough how important time alone with your spouse is. Last year during sequestration, our budget was pretty tight, so our date nights were spent at home. We'd drop the girls off for their sleepover (which they love), run to the grocery store for some goodies, come home and put jammies on, and pop a movie in. Our overall cost was low, but the time together was priceless! Other months we've gone out to a nice dinner and just spent hours talking. I can't tell you how special it is to remember all over again why I married this man!
So, maybe you don't have close friends or family around. Are you out of luck? Nope - there are so many options for couples today! Unfortunately, not all of them are free, but you may be able to find something that's fairly low cost and budget-friendly.
Look into some of these ideas:
1) Share childcare expenses - If you're looking to go out with another couple, hire one babysitter and share the cost.
2) Barter - Do you cut hair, tutor, or provide another service? You may be able to trade favors with a teen or other young person in return for babysitting service.
3) Utilize trustworthy teenagers - If you have a neighborhood teen or a young person from the youth group at church that you can trust, consider offering them a babysitting opportunity. They usually charge less than an adult.
4) Join a babysitting co-op - Many churches or other groups will start babysitting co-ops. You'd drop your child at a specified location and provide their meal, and another couple would watch them. At some other point you would return the service. If several families are involved, the duty rotates month-to-month.
Even if your only option is the free childcare available at the mall or at IKEA, take advantage of some time to be alone with your hubby! You need time together that's not about changing diapers, feeding small people, or dealing with drama. Re-connect with the man you've chosen to spend your life with - not the daddy - and let him re-connect with you, the woman - not the mommy - he's picked!
