The Countdown

As I write this, Christmas is just six days away. My shopping is practically done, I haven't started wrapping anything yet, and I never got the Christmas cards done. Looks like friends and family might get a New Year's greeting from us this year! Even though it might all sound crazy, I'm not complaining or worried. And no, I'm not on any medication. 

I'm trying to calm things down so I can actually enjoy this Christmas with my family, and it's been fairly successful so far. We've chosen to make our girls' focus Christ this year which means we're cutting back on the number of gifts under the tree and talking more about why we celebrate. Besides the financial benefits our decision offers, it's also taken some pressure off of Charles and I. I got confirmation that it was working when Emily included a message in her family prayer about us all remembering the reason we celebrate - not presents, but Jesus. It was such a great moment!

I hope you don't think that I'm sitting over here calm as a cucumber with no concerns or stresses. This holiday season has been just as stressful as others. I decided to make all the teacher and friend gifts this year to save us some money. Over the last few weeks I've made 18 pints of apple butter and more cookies than I care to look at ever again. I've also supervised homemade gifts for grandparents and other family members and released my latest book, in case I didn't have enough to do! 

I got my idea for cutting back from another blog, Momastery, written by Glennis Melton. Each year she finishes all of her Christmas shopping by December 1 so that her family can spend the month enjoying each other and celebrating the holiday. Since I didn't read her blog post until December, my shopping wasn't even started, but I loved the way they do presents in her family. Each kid gets four things: One you want, one the world needs, one you wear, and one you read. I modified this for our family and changed "one the world needs" to "one you need." In the future we might change it, but this works better for us. 

I made up papers for the girls to give me ideas, and boy has it simplified things! We still do Santa, so we didn't get away with only four gifts, but we've limited the Santa gifts already, and we won't be inundated on Christmas morning. I feel good that the girls will end up with things they truly want and need. And I get to enjoy my holiday with the family!

An Early Christmas Gift for My Readers

This post won't be long or involved. It's just a quick reminder that all three of my books in Kindle format are free on December 11 and 12. If you would like to have any or all of these titles, now is the time to pick them up - you can't beat the price! 

Give yourself and your family an early Christmas present that won't break the budget! 

Here are the links to the books:
Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman: Learning to Lose the Intimidation
http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Proverbs-31-Woman-Intimidation-ebook/dp/B00QSGIK66/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1418263903&sr=1-1&keywords=becoming+a+proverbs+31+woman

I'm Looking for God Today
http://www.amazon.com/Looking-God-Today-Glimpses-Book-ebook/dp/B00BSZJENU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418263778&sr=8-1&keywords=I%27m+looking+for+god+today

Daddy, What Does Faith Look Like?
http://www.amazon.com/Daddy-What-Does-Faith-Glimpses-ebook/dp/B00BSGL4LO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418263611&sr=8-1&keywords=daddy%2C+what+does+faith+look+like
 

Finally, A Post!

I need to apologize to those of you who read my blog posts because I haven't posted in so long. I have been productive with my time, but obviously I haven't been blogging. I am excited to tell you that my third book is done and published as of December 6! Becoming a Proverbs 31 Woman: Learning to Lose the Intimidation" is my first ladies' Bible study book, and I'm quite proud of it. 

I wrote this study between 2011 and 2012, and it's taken me this long to get it ready for publication. Writing a weekly study for your ladies group is much easier than adapting that study for mass publication. I had to spend time beefing up each lesson since I won't be sitting with each person as they go through the book. Then the editing process began which always takes longer when it's your own. I love editing other peoples' work, but I dread looking at my own. That step took longer than it should have, but I can only look at my own words so much before they all blend together into alphabet soup!

If you've been looking for a good, meaty Bible study to do on your own or with your group, I highly recommend this book. Each of the women involved in the initial study with me got a lot out of it and noted positive changes in their lives. I decided to study the Proverbs 31 Woman and the characteristics that make her special as well as the things that make her intimidating to women everywhere. 

The book delves into several aspects of her character: her fear of the Lord, self-control, virtue, kindness, compassion, sense of responsibility, resourcefulness, willingness to work hard, high energy level, wisdom, and love. Throughout the study, readers get to explore each of the characteristics from a Biblical perspective and learn how to attain them in their lives. I use several scriptures in each chapter to give a clear picture of God's ideas about each concept. 

My goal with this book is to make you look at the Proverbs 31 Woman a little differently - not as an unattainable standard, but as a woman living her life for the Lord - and learn how to become a woman who fears the Lord today. I hope you'll pick up a copy for yourself and one for a friend this Christmas! 
http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Proverbs-31-Woman-Intimidation/dp/1500614815/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417927173&sr=1-3&keywords=becoming+a+proverbs+31+woman

When Life Closes In

As it stands right now, my Proverbs 31 Woman book is (finally) ready to go once it has cover art. It's been a long time coming and I'm really excited to get it done and published! My next project will be editing and preparing my James Bible study for a similar treatment. My third children's book is with the illustrator now, and we hope to have it completed by Christmas. It sometimes feels like everything happens at once, which is pretty overwhelming. But, once they are all published, I'll have to seriously buckle down and get some more writing done. 

Do you ever feel like everything that needs your attention happens all at the same time or not at all? Nothing is ever spaced out easily, at least not in my world. I often feel like I'm running around erratically, never accomplishing anything, even though things are getting done. But, when the list is so long and the time is so short, it's easy to let the panic and stress take over. 

So, what do we do when life just closes in around us? Most of us respond in one of a few ways: some run through their list until they break down, some try to do pieces of each thing that needs doing without forgetting anything important, some thrive on the hectic lifestyle and dive right in, and others play the "ignore it and maybe it will go away" game. I can't say that any of these are a particularly healthy approach, but let's face it, most of us can identify with at least one of these strategies. I, personally, try to complete pieces of each task and pray I don't forget the important stuff. I don't recommend this strategy, though, because I inevitably forget something. 

I'm trying to get better at handling the messes of managing a family, writing and editing books, leading and preparing Bible studies, teaching Sunday School, and whatever else jumps on my plate by handling one thing at a time. I have a list, and I try to work my way down the list. Sometimes things jump to the top of the list by necessity, but I'm trying to roll with the punches. I'm not going to claim to be an expert, but I sure do get a lot more done when I stop panicking and start productively working!

As we all get back into the groove of school with the kids, I want to challenge you to think about your coping mechanisms. If you're like me and find yourself stuck with a destructive habit, try to change it. Make your list, utilize your calendar, send yourself text reminders; do whatever you need to do in order to reclaim a little bit of sanity!   

Blessings in Inspiration

I had the pleasure of exhibiting my books at a local author's festival in our community this past weekend. Authors were given a table and allowed to sell books, interact with readers, and give micro-readings. It was a wonderful day and I made some new customers and have several visitors to my table. I felt like I was in my element at the festival, surrounded by people who are as passionate about writing as I am.

I was one of the few (and maybe the only) authors there with Christian books and people noticed. Some would skirt my table quickly after reading my titles, but others took a double take and came back to look harder. Some of those "second-lookers" came back to buy books from me later in the day. Many people were happy to see Christian children's books that deal with real issues that kids ask about like faith and God's presence. 

All those juices generated at the festival continued on today when I FINALLY got the idea for my next book! I was in the shower, one of my favorite creative spaces, when an idea finally gelled and I started formulating how to put the story together. I spent the afternoon drafting out my story and I'll give it a few days to sit before picking it up for revisions. It has been months since a good children's story has come to me, but I'm learning that this is normal for me. The Lord gives me the inspiration when it's time, not before, so I can sit down and hammer out something when I'm not feeling it, but most days it will be something that hits the trash. 

Now, you might be wondering why I shared my little anecdote with you. Partly because you, my blogosphere friends, should know that I'll have another book for you and your kids within the year! I've also learned something that applies to more than my writing career that you might find helpful as well. I've taken a break from my children's book writing for almost a year because my well ran dry. I sat down with trusty notebook and pen several times, only to come away empty handed and frustrated. So I put it down and decided to let God drive the bus. He's never steered me wrong in the past - I knew that when it was time for Book 3 he would let me know. And he did. 

When we remember to let God drive, our path becomes very clear and less worrisome. I won't lie and tell you my life is worry-free because I'm too much of a worrier to let that happen consistently. However, I'm getting better at handing my writing business over to God for his glory and he's coming through. I hope that you'll give your life and your passions and talents to him, too, so you can see how faithful he can be in your life! 

A Special Message for Moms

Yesterday was Mother's Day, a day set aside to honor moms for all that they do. My family of five had a wonderful day together, beginning with a delicious, healthy breakfast prepared for me by my oldest, followed by church and some great quality time and dinner out. I can't tell you how many times the girls told me, "Happy Mother's Day" throughout the day. It was a beautiful, memorable day. I say all of this to tell you that not every Mother's Day has been this way. I remember when the girls were all younger that Mother's Day felt like Monster's Day - they seemed to turn into crazy little monsters who wanted to drive me insane more than anything else. They were not fun days, and I often looked forward to Monday just so their behavior would return to normal. 

Looking back on these days after a success like this year, I have to wonder what made those times different. I think it has to do with maturity. As toddlers, especially, children don't think past themselves and their immediate comfort. They're not interested in a day set aside for Mommy, especially if she gets presents and they don't. They don't want to go somewhere other than McDonald's or Taco Bell to eat; after all, they're most important, right? When they started preschool some of the attitudes started to change, probably because the preschool made a big deal of Mother's Day with a tea and gifts each year. The girls finally started to realize that it was a day to make Mommy feel special, not a day to torment her and make her regret becoming a mom! 

I think we're often this way with God. How often do we remember to thank him for all he's done in our lives? We make sure to blame him when things aren't going well, but we forget to give him credit when things go right. We have a day set aside for God every week, but do we take advantage of it to thank him for what we have and worship him at church? Too many of us choose not to; Sunday has become a yard work or sports day with God rarely even making our list. 

If we feel neglected when our children behave badly on Mother's Day, or even worse, forget us on Mother's Day, how do you think God feels when we forget him? He loves us as children, which all of us moms can understand. Why do we think we can hurt him any less than our children can hurt us? As we raise our children to respect us as their parents and treat us special on our days, we should raise them to treat God the same way, especially on his special day each week. 

Re-engage the brain (for a little bit longer!)

Has anyone noticed that their kids' brains have turned off since coming off Spring Break? Isn't it supposed to be a time to recharge the batteries before wading back into the school routine? The answer is yes, but Spring Break has the opposite effect in my home. 

The girls and I spent a fantastic 12 days in New Mexico with my parents over our break, which was so nice. We relaxed, the girls played, and we did tons of fun stuff. But now we're home slogging through the same-old routine and brains are disengaging. 

While the idea of a recharge is nice, I almost wish we could just skip it and get out of school a week earlier. The girls wouldn't get used to sleeping in and playing all the time, and I wouldn't have to be the warden every single morning, reminding them to brush teeth and comb hair (because we never do those things). 

My zeal for school work has also diminished and I have to force myself to care about what's coming home. Heaven help us if someone brings home a project! This is the time of year when Mom helps the kids find the shortest book in the library to write a book report on or homework is completed in the backseat on the way to ________ (fill in the blank). 

My kids are involved in one sport (all together!) that runs year round, so our sports routine is constant. But many kids pick up baseball, soccer, or lacrosse this time of year, and schedules get even crazier! I've known many moms who pack dinner into the car and eat on the way to one practice or another. 

So how do we re-engage our brains and get through the rest of the year, ladies? Here's what helps me - when I remember to do it! 
1.  Write it down - If you have something coming up write it down on the calendar. I keep a desk calendar hanging over my desk so I can see what's going on each week. This requires actually keeping up with it and adding things as you find out about them. This time of year it's hard to remember to get everything on there, but boy do I pay when I forget! 
2.  Say "no" if you need to - You can't do everything; sometimes you need to say no and let someone else pick up the baton and run. It's hard, I know, but you know when you're getting to your breaking point. The last thing you need in the middle of all the crazy end-of- school-year hustle is a breakdown!   
3. Pray! - It may seem oversimplified, but prayer can be the difference between a harried, crazy mom and a calm, centered mom. Yes, our schedules are busy right now, but the Lord knows what each one of us needs to get through all the craziness, and he's able to bless us and our families through it. When things start to feel overwhelming I make myself spend some time in prayer, then I start prioritizing my list. It's amazing how much clearer everything looks after I've taken that time to connect with the Creator. 
 

Combating the "If only's" and "Never enough's"

I just read a very interesting book for a freelance assignment. It's called Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. She explores the United States' culture of "never enough," which I found fascinating. She hypothesizes that people in this country are suffering from a culture of scarcity, which is a culture "never enough." No one ever has enough of anything: never enough time, never enough sleep, never enough money, never enough power, and the list goes on forever. We just never have enough, period. 

The idea resonated with me because I catch myself trapped in the same cycle. I wake up tired and think "I didn't get enough sleep" instead of thanking the Lord for the sleep I was able to get. Many of my "never enough's" creep into my thinking as "if only's." I think to myself, "If only I made more money I could..." or "If our house was bigger I would..." Again, the list can go on forever, but the idea at the heart of it is the same. Nothing I have is enough. Why is that? 

I think if I look deeply it's because at times I lack faith and gratitude. When I forget that God provides me with everything I could possibly need, and then some, these feelings of not enough like to creep in. When I remember that he's the fount of every blessing, I don't struggle with these thoughts as much. 

Isn't it interesting what that loss of focus does to us? It's such a simple thing, too. We think it's harmless to dream about bigger houses or better cars, and it can be. But, when our heart is coming from a place of jealousy, envy, or discontent, those simple wishes become destructive. They can eat away at our peace of mind, cause dissension in our marriages, and make us short with our children.  

One passage helps me regain focus when my mind wanders into "never enough" and "if only" land. 
It's Matthew 6:31-34: "So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

These verses have helped me through many a rough day, especially when I'm caught up in the "never enough" mentality. If we can simply remember that God provides all of our needs, we really don't need to worry so much about keeping up with others. He has never let me fall, and I have to trust that he is providing for my family's needs in all things.  

Taking Time as a Couple

This weekend my husband and I are going away for our anniversary. We just hit 14 years, which is very exciting, and quite the accomplishment in today's world. To my knowledge, we've never gone away to celebrate our anniversary before, so this trip is a bit of a milestone. We're both looking forward to having time to focus on each other, without distractions or responsibilities. With three active children, our relationship can sometimes take a back-burner to our busy lives, and we need a re-charge!

How often do you and your husband remember to celebrate your couple-ness? Over the years our date nights have been few and far between for the most part. When the girls were really young, we couldn't afford a babysitter, so nights out didn't happen much. As they got a bit older, and money became a little less of an issue, we still struggled to make dating a priority. It wasn't until my girlfriend and I devised a monthly babysitting swap that we actually started enjoying time set aside just for us every month.

I can't stress enough how important time alone with your spouse is. Last year during sequestration, our budget was pretty tight, so our date nights were spent at home. We'd drop the girls off for their sleepover (which they love), run to the grocery store for some goodies, come home and put jammies on, and pop a movie in. Our overall cost was low, but the time together was priceless! Other months we've gone out to a nice dinner and just spent hours talking. I can't tell you how special it is to remember all over again why I married this man!

So, maybe you don't have close friends or family around. Are you out of luck? Nope - there are so many options for couples today! Unfortunately, not all of them are free, but you may be able to find something that's fairly low cost and budget-friendly.
 
Look into some of these ideas:
1) Share childcare expenses - If you're looking to go out with another couple, hire one babysitter and share the cost.
2) Barter - Do you cut hair, tutor, or provide another service? You may be able to trade favors with a teen or other young person in return for babysitting service.
3) Utilize trustworthy teenagers - If you have a neighborhood teen or a young person from the youth group at church that you can trust, consider offering them a babysitting opportunity. They usually charge less than an adult. 
4) Join a babysitting co-op - Many churches or other groups will start babysitting co-ops. You'd drop your child at a specified location and provide their meal, and another couple would watch them. At some other point you would return the service. If several families are involved, the duty rotates month-to-month.

Even if your only option is the free childcare available at the mall or at IKEA, take advantage of some time to be alone with your hubby! You need time together that's not about changing diapers, feeding small people, or dealing with drama. Re-connect with the man you've chosen to spend your life with - not the daddy - and let him re-connect with you, the woman - not the mommy - he's picked!   

New Year, New Goals

It's New Years resolution time! Have you written yours down? I found a really interesting chart on http://statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/.
Take a look:

Statistic Verification

Source: University of Scranton. Journal of Clinical Psychology

Research Date: 1.1.2014

Rank	Top 10 New Years resolutions for 2014
1	Lose Weight
2	Getting Organized
3	Spend Less, Save More
4	Enjoy Life to the Fullest
5	Staying Fit and Healthy
6	Learn Something Exciting
7	Quit Smoking
8	Help Others in Their Dreams
9	Fall in Love
10	Spend More Time with Family

News Years Resolution Statistics	Data
Percent of Americans who usually make New Year’s Resolutions	45%
Percent of Americans who infrequently make New Year’s Resolutions	17%
Percent of Americans who absolutlely never make New Year’s Resolutions	38%
Percent of people who are successful in achieving their resolution	8%
Percent who have infrequent success	49%
Percent who never succeed and fail on their resolution each year	24%
People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions
Type of Resolutions (Percent above 100% because of multiple resolutions)	Data
Self Improvement or education related resolutions	47%
Weight related resolutions	38%
Money related resolutions	34%
Relationship related resolutions	31%
Age Success Rates	Data
Percent of people in their twenties who achieve their resolution each year	39%
Percent of people over 50 who achieve their resolution each year	14%
Length of Resolutions	Data
Resolution maintained through first week	75%
Past two weeks	71%
Past one month	64%
Past six months	46%

Aren't these interesting? What's also telling to me, though, is how long these resolutions last. Most people are done keeping their resolution within a week. Why is that? Why can't we make a goal and stick with it? Weight loss, especially, seems to be something we moms give up on pretty quickly. We're quick to give ourselves an out: the kids have to nap, they're too disruptive, I'm too tired, or any other excuse we can use.

I haven't set myself any resolutions this year, but I do have specific goals I'm working on in my life. I think it's important that we all set goals for ourselves, and then we actively pursue them. For instance, if you'd like to lose weight, and you make it your New Years resolution, pursue it! Don't just purchase a gym membership - find a gym buddy, use a trainer, find classes you enjoy. If you're working out at home, make it work for you. I stick with my regimen much better when I'm with other people, so I take an aerobics class twice a week, and I kickbox twice a week. It keeps me accountable, and I'm able to share my exercise enjoyment with friends.

One thing I think we Christians always resolve to do is read our Bibles more each year. This is one deal I make with myself every year, and I usually have pretty poor follow-through. This year, I'm doing a reading plan with Charles and other members at church who have taken the challenge. I'm hopeful that we'll be able to hold each other accountable for our spiritual exercise plan!

So, moms, I hope that if you've set resolutions for yourself, that you'll set out with a mind-set to succeed. Include a friend or your spouse in your resolutions so they can help you stay on track.
Whatever your goals are, remember the S.M.A.R.T. analogy:
S - Specific. Commit to exactly what you want to achieve. Know what you're working for.
M - Measureable. Don't set a goal to lose weight - set a number. "I want to lose 10 pounds." You'll be able to measure your success this way.
A - Attainable. Make sure your goal is reasonable. Don't set yourself up for failure. Losing 10 pounds in a few days isn't attainable, but losing 10 pounds in 1-2 months certainly is.
R - Relevant. Your goal needs to mean something to you. Don't jump on the weight loss bandwagon if you're not really interested in losing weight and getting healthy.
T - Time-bound. Give yourself a time-frame to work with. "I want to lose 10 pounds in 2 months" gives you something specific to work towards in a set time period. With an ending in sight, it's easier to stick with something.

Chaos Has Descended!

As much as I love holidays, the weeks leading up to them seem to get crazier every year! My calendar is full of conferences, doctors appointments, dental appointments, and seminars - on top of all the regular parts of my weeks - exercise, Bible study, music lessons, and Jiu-Jitsu. Somewhere in there I have to squeeze in time to work since the holidays really are coming, and we'd like to pay for whatever gifts are coming! I think I might really and truly lose my mind this year!

My goal right now is to find peace.  I know, that sounds kind of crazy, right? Did you see my calendar?? Peace is a far distant destination, if you look at everything on my plate. However, for my sanity (and my family's) I've got to find a way to carve out some peace in the midst of the chaos. I have some ideas I'm going to try, and I'll try to update you on my progress as I go along.

1. Stay focused: I have to stay focused on what's actually important.  Are there things I can let go of? Probably. I have a bad tendency to say "yes" and figure out how I'm going to do it later. I may have to miss a few events, or say no to a few people, but I have to stay focused on what's most important - my commitment to God and to my family. Everything else can wait!

2. Calm it down: I have a tendency to carry all my stress around, letting it compound and make me crazy until I start dropping things. Unfortunately, the things I end up dropping are usually bills, appointments, or school commitments - all things I REALLY need to remember! I have to calm everything down and make time for these things that just won't wait. Keeping a desk calendar front and center has really helped me a lot with this. As long as an event makes it to the calendar, I'm OK and I can plan for it. If I forget to put it on the calendar, it gets dicey!

3. Push Forward: I know that some days I'm not going to get much done on my list, but I can't let that stop me. Life has a bad habit of intruding just when I have everything planned out just right! When that happens, I have to remember to push forward and get through. The world isn't going to stop just because I'm overwhelmed!

4. Pray it out!: The final, and most important, part of the equation is prayer. I have to pray when things get to be too much. God will give me the peace I need to see my way out of the hole, but only if I ask for it. Sadly, I think that too often I rely on myself to get things done, when it's only through him that I'm going to truly succeed in life. He's promised to take our cares and burdens away if we give them to him - so why in the world don't I? His shoulders are much broader than mine, and much better suited to lifting heavy burdens.

The Little Things

This caught my attention today.  It mirrors what I've been trying to do with my girls recently.  I read something that said if you want your kids to come to you with the big things when they're older, you have to listen to the little things when they're small.  This really hit me - mostly because I find myself tuning out so many of the little things three girls are constantly throwing my way.  But, if I don't want to find myself on the outside looking in when they're bigger, I've got to get my act together and start listening.  

I've been putting the poem above into practice in my life.  When the girls come home from school, even though it's peak writing time, I stop what I'm doing so I can hear about their day and everything that happened.  Do my ears ring and my brain slightly implode?  Yes, but it's worth it.  In the midst of all the chatter, I'm learning about my girls and what's important to them. 

Emily will tell me what happened in different classes, Abby will have a report on recess, and Morgan will have a behavior report on her classmates.  It's amazing how much their personalities and individual struggles come through in what they say!  Abby won't have anything to say about classwork because she doesn't care about it, but she'll have a play-by-play of her interaction with friends on the playground, because that matters to her.  Emily will share a wide variety of things, mostly class related unless something happened with one of her friends and she needs venting time or advice.  Morgan will let me know who misbehaved in class, and what steps she took to remedy the problem. 

Look what I would miss out on by tuning them out every day!  By turning off my lips and opening my ears, I get to come inside their world for a little bit and see what it's like.  Is it easy?  No, I will honestly tell you that it's really hard, but it's so important!  I'm building a foundation today that will (hopefully) sustain our relationship through the teen years when I really need to know what's going on with them.  It also clues me in to trouble areas early.  If there's going to be drama with a friend, sometimes it can be headed off before it's a problem.  If someone's struggling with a subject in school, I can take measures here at home to help.  Sometimes my girls just need to know that I am present and I understand what they're going through right now.  They don't need a solution or remedy - they just need Mommy, a listening ear, and a giant hug.   

I encourage you to spend some time with each of your kids and their "little things."  You may need to go to a quiet place and lose your mind a little bit afterwards, but I promise you that you won't regret it! 

What is God Doing for Me Today?

 

 

There are some great ideas expressed in this simple message, and they're really hitting me today.  I was joking with some wonderful girlfriends last week about patience, because we all know what happens when we ask God for help with it - he provides the opportunity to use it!  Most moms aren't real excited for the opportunity to exercise more patience, but we certainly do need the help.  How often does he send answers through opportunities?  He gives us the opportunity to work, to help others, to become strong, and to resolve problems.  Too bad we often see these opportunities as the troubles and not the solution! 

 

How often do we miss blessings in our lives because we don't see God's answers?  Think about all that God does for you every day.  How many of his answers go completely over your head because you were expecting something different? 

 

We miss out on so much that God has prepared for us because we continue to look at things through the world's glasses.  When we stop and see a situation through God's lenses we can see his provision for us.  Try to see God's opportunities in your situation.  I have a feeling he's sending blessings your way - more than you can imagine! 

Back to School

Today was the official first day of school and I'm bittersweet about it.  I'm not ashamed to say that I look forward to summer vacation each year.  I like having my girls home, sleeping in every morning, and keeping a relaxed schedule.  However, I am ready to get into a regular pattern, especially with my writing.  I find it hard to set aside the time I need to devote to my craft when there are three energetic girls running around the house.  They regard my "working" time the same way they do a phone call - they always have something really important to tell me even though I'm off limits.  It tends to make me just a little irritable and short! 

Do you have the same issue?  Were you both happy and sad when you waved your kids off on the bus?  It's one of the many interesting situations we face as moms.  We're happy to be with our children every minute of every day until we REALLY need a break!  My mother-in-law has mentioned home-schooling to me several times lately and I just have to laugh.  As much as I love my girls I do not think I'm up to the challenge of home-schooling.  Over the summer we did some math review and that was plenty for me to realize that I'm just not cut out to be their teacher! 

These hours that they are in school are my time to work - I'm either doing housework, writing, leading my Bible study, or running various and sundry errands.  I don't find that I get more rest when they're not here; I can just direct my attentions to other things I need to do.  When the girls are home things get compressed.  I can maybe sneak in a couple of hours working on my book or articles, but I feel the need to compensate them with something fun to make up for it.  That usually adds a trip somewhere to our day and takes away from productive tasks I would have done. 

I guess my point today is don't let anyone make you feel guilty that you were just the slightest bit relieved when the bus pulled away this morning.  You're not alone in it!  We all love our children and want the best for them, and sometimes we need some time apart so we can really enjoy them when we get them back!  I know that I am determined not to let someone else dictate to me what my schedule should look like, and neither should you.  Enjoy your back to school day!

Where Am I Pointing My Children?

 

I saw this on Facebook today, posted on Proverbs 31 Ministries' page, and it spoke to me.  It got me thinking - am I pointing my girls to God every day?  How do I accomplish this in the midst of the hustle and bustle and general craziness of life?  I think the answer is staring us right in the face every day.  The question we need to ask ourselves is this: am I living for God every day?  Because if I am I will automatically point my children to him in all that I do.  

 

I don't know about you, but I want to live in such a way that my children see my faith played out in my day-to-day life.  I can show them how God is working in my life when I sit down to write or make food for friends that need it.  What I find is that sometimes it's the small things we do that mean more to the girls than the big ones we think will make an impact. 

 

So take the opportunity today to teach your kids about the important things in life, no matter what you're doing.  You can show them God at soccer, at the dentist, or in the grocery store.  Let them see God working in your life!



Blessings Pour Down

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.  With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."   

Psalm 91:14-16

I find myself stopping at random points during the day this week to say "Thank you Lord."  That's all - short and sweet and heartfelt.  You know why?  Because I am feeling His blessings in my life in some special and visible ways.  Here's some history: my husband is a DoD (Department of Defense) employee.  As you may know President Obama decided in his infinite wisdom last year to institute sequestration if Congress didn't bend to his budget demands.  It hit the news and fizzled - after all, who cares about some fat-cat government employees getting a pay cut, right??  Unfortunately what people didn't (and still don't) understand is that the fat-cats don't feel the cuts.  This sequestration was targeted at people just like us - middle-class working families, many with children, who are trying to make a living for their family.  The result has been 11 days of furlough spread out over 11 weeks.  Allow me to translate - for 11 weeks Charles is "off" on Fridays because he's not getting paid.  It's a partial lay-off in layman's terms.  20% of our pay every week is gone.  Granted we still get to pay all of our bills at full price, but with 20% less money available to do so. 

Now, reading all about sequestration and its affects on our family you may be wondering why I'm writing about blessings.  Strangely enough, God's blessings are pouring through the clouds surrounding us right now.  I have been signed up with a freelance writing website for about a year now.  I had almost forgotten about this site until I started fretting about money and how we were going to make it financially right now.  I ended up exploring this site and accepting an article.  I spent about an hour writing, turned it in and made approximately $7.  Not too bad, but I'd sure have to take a lot of assignments in order to make up any pay Charles has lost.  Imagine my surprise Wednesday when I opened the site and had a team invitation.  I have been invited to join a team that writes an average of 20 articles a week, with the opportunity to do more if I'm able.  Would you believe that writing 20 of these articles will make me almost exactly the amount we are losing to sequestration every week? 

I was stunned and incredibly humbled by this discovery.  I have been worried to the point of sickness over this whole situation and I finally hit bottom with it last weekend.  I sat down and had a long conversation with God about this whole business and gave it to him completely.  For Real!  I didn't grab it back immediately so I could worry some more.  I handed my burden over to his more-than-capable shoulders and left it there.  Needless to say it was very freeing and I started feeling better about the whole situation right then and there.  And three days later I am provided with a way to make up every penny that we are losing.  I don't think you could attribute this to anything but God and his goodness.  I am floored and comforted by his overwhelming care and protection.  I hope that you, too, will give him your burdens.  I can't guarantee you'll have the same answer, but I promise you He will provide for you.  His blessings will pour down on you!

Unify!

26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27 for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise. (NIV)

Galatians 3:26-28

 

I can't tell you how many times this verse has gone through my head today as I continue to hear anger, pain and hurt from both sides of the Zimmerman / Martin controversy.  People are in pain, families are hurting, and of course the media is right there spreading the hate around.  Why?  Why do we do this to each other?  What is wrong with us as a country when the federal government involves itself in a situation just because the verdict was not guilty?  Are we really so petty?  Apparently we are.  It makes me sad and disappointed in my fellow Americans. 

 

It's times like this that I can just picture the devil rubbing his hands in glee.  We are letting ourselves get drawn into the "race" arguments and hard feelings and ignoring the needs of people all around us.  Are you going to fix anything by stoking the fire?  How can we expect anyone to heal if we constantly shove this in peoples' faces?  We've got to get it together my friends!  Wake up and realize that pointing fingers and judging people you don't know will set you right into Satan's palm. 

 

What does Paul tell the Galatians?  "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."  I think God would allow me to add "black or white" to this verse to make my point.  We're all the same in Christ Jesus.  Men, women, African, Asian, Indian, or Caucasian, and the list goes on.  If we're all children of God these differences we have don't matter.  Skin color especially - do you realize skin color is all about the amount of melanin in your skin?  More melanin = darker skin; less melanin = lighter skin.  It's such a silly thing to judge each other over!  I'm not saying we aren't all different, but culture plays a bigger part in our differences than skin color ever will. 

 

In this time of uncertainty and negativity I challenge you to be better.  Don't get mired in the controversy.  Hold on to God while others are holding on to the hate and anger.  Let God in so He can heal your hurts.  And pray that those at the heart of this very sad situation will do the same thing.

 

Happy Saturday!

Hello my friends!  Here are some great Dr. Seuss thoughts for you on this beautiful weekend afternoon...

De-Vacation My Children!

Do you ever have to de-vacation your children after a trip?  You know what I mean - sit them down and explain that the world does not, in fact, revolve around them and their every whim, that we do actually have to get stuff done around the house, and that the pocketbook is not a bottomless reservoir.  Is it only me that has this problem?  I think not!!  I bet you know exactly what I'm talking about.  I made the tactical error of taking the girls to Wal-Mart yesterday before the de-vacationing speech and got nothing but "Can we get _____?"  "I really like ______," and the ever so subtle "I'm SOOO thirsty - that bottled water sure looks good..."  Yep, it was a pretty quick shopping trip followed by a much needed conversation about real life. 

So, how do we go about de-vacationing? 
Here's my feeble attempt:

1)  Try to get things back to normal-ish.  Monday morning we started back with the chore charts.  It's a way to ease us back into routine without killing anybody.  We're not being real sticklers on bedtimes or wake-ups yet since it's still summer break, but we are taking some time each day to work on math facts and make sure our normal tasks get done.

2)  Don't give in to the gimmees.  It's so easy on vacation to play the sentimental card and buy way more than any one kid needs to have, much less three.  If this happened during vacation you have to put a stop to it once you get home or you will find yourself drooling somewhere in an asylum corner before you know it!  While a little treating during vacation is nice, and even expected, you won't do your kids any favors if you continue the trend when you're home.  Kids need to know that there's a difference between our usual budget $$ and the $$ we set aside for vacation extras.  Otherwise you might as well paste a wallet to your head because that's all they'll see when you're around.

3)  Be honest.  Let your kids know that you had a budget for vacation and you have a budget for home.  If you spend at home like you do on vacation you might find yourself in a bad financial spot.  It's good for them to have a grasp, albeit not dollar amounts, on the budget.  For instance, as a DOD employee my husband is going to be furloughed for one day every week for 11 weeks - yay - which is affecting our budget.  I've sat the girls down and explained that things are going to be tight, and we won't be doing much extra.  It stinks that we have to deal with this over the summer, but what choice do we have?  We could ignore the cut in pay and spend our way right out of a home and into bankruptcy.  Not a smart move! 

4)  Be fun!!  The fun doesn't have to end just because vacation is over.  Try to keep that spirit alive when you get back home.  Let the kids camp out together if they want to.  Fire up the firepit and roast some s'mores.  Turn the sprinkler on and let them loose.  Visit the pool or the library - or both!  Try to remember, even as you get things back to "normal" that you only get this time with them once.  Let loose and have some fun with your kids!

Where is my freedom?

With the 4th of July upon us our minds naturally turn to freedom.  We remember how blessed we are to live in this country: the land of the free and the home of the brave.  It's got me thinking about my freedoms as a parent and what they mean to me. 

What do I mean by free?  Let me put it to you this way - do you find fulfillment and freedom in your life as a parent or does it stifle and constrict you?  I think we all have moments that we identify with both sides of this question.  It's when we can't escape the constriction that we have to stop and fix things.  Being a parent should be a freeing and exciting journey for each one of us.  Whether you planned each of your miracles or were surprised, they are special and worthy of your time and energy.  You should be free to love them without restriction, to play with them without embarrassment, and to cuddle them without limitations.  What keeps you from claiming that joy?  I know what keeps me from it - I get distracted, I get busy, and I get so bogged down in the day-to-day muck of life that I don't feel free or joyful.  Instead of enjoying an outing I find myself thinking about what has to be done when we get home. 

So, how do we work ourselves out of the funk and into the freedom and joy of parenting?  I think the best way is improving our prayer lives.  I know that too often I lay a burden at God's feet only to take it up again later.  Really??  Am I really so arrogant that I think I can handle my stuff better than God can?  Apparently I am all too often!  It's a hard thing to give your burdens away for good.  I like to think I'm getting better at it, and most days I am, but there are some things that I have a hard time giving over.  However, when I'm successful I find that parenting becomes easier for me.  I'm calmer and more relaxed with my girls, which makes me more fun to be around. 

Along with improving our prayer lives we have to learn to lighten up!  Be silly with your kids - who cares if you look funny singing your heart out to One Direction songs?  Does it matter?  It means so much to your kids when you can sit down with them and be fun - play games, play Barbies or Legos, read together, make up silly stories, or color.  They don't care what it is.  So I'm going to challenge you to be free - claim your right to be a joyful, free parent and see how your children respond!